Intimacy has been studied over time in relationships. Is there more or less of it? These studies look at various intimacy measures like touch and physical proximity, among other issues. Unsurprisingly, these studies find that the experience of intimacy decreases over time.
This means what you probably already know from experience. The longer you are in a relationship, sometimes the less intimate you feel. It can end up where you feel like you are roommates more than lovers.
Diminishing intimacy in your relationship does not have to be your fate. You can actually take steps to increase the level of intimacy you experience with your lover over time. Here are a few things you can do beginning today to have more intimacy:
Small talk. The more, the better! Surprisingly, studies demonstrate that the smaller connective talk couples have, the greater the satisfaction they report in their relationships. And, the more small talk couples had, the less they fought about other issues. So talk about your day and your little observations and listen to your mate as they do also.
Physical factors. Touching your partner, hugging them, looking them in the eye makes a difference in the reported experience of intimacy between partners. Over time, all these physical indicators of intimacy occur less often. So try these easy things: look your partner in the eye when you talk. Try to have six non-sexual hugs or touches each day. These things make a difference in the closeness couples feel and report.
Gratitude and Appreciation
The more you each take some time to appreciate what you’ve got, the more intimacy you will experience and feel. It’s normal to think of what’s missing or what’s wrong. Finding three things a day you appreciate about your life and your mate helps you to express
There is much more relationship intelligence that can more affection, which leads to more feelings of intimacy.
There are lots of other factors that impact the experience of intimacy in marriage. But these three things are simple and you can practice them several times each day to actually improve your experience of intimacy with your mate.
help your relationship to thrive, not just survive. Studying and adding to your relationship skills by practicing intimacy can pay off for years. Your relationship doesn’t have to lose intimacy over time. By shifting your behavior some you can begin to have more of it every day just from communicating and listening to your mate from the heart. When we feel heard and understood by our mate, rather than taken for granted, that is one simple way to have more intimacy every day.