We live in a day and age where marriages seem to be in trouble for various reasons. The divorce rate is alarming and many of those who opt to remain marriage don’t necessarily live under the best of circumstances. In fact, many people consider it to be more common for married couples to be unhappy with their relationship than to be happy. Fortunately, that does not need to be the case with every marriage.
In an effort to straighten things out within their marriage and to make it work well for both partners, many of them will seek some form of marriage counseling. For some individuals, it means getting together for a group session or perhaps taking a weekend retreat to work on their marriage. For others, it means sitting down with a professional and hashing things out in front of a neutral, third-party. In either case, however, many people are wondering if marriage counseling is something that really works.
Not All Marriage Problems Can Be Fixed
First of all, it’s important to understand that there is no “magic pill” that is going to fix all marital problems. In some cases, there is nothing that is truly going to work except a considerable amount of effort that is put forth on both parties within the marriage and a keen desire to see things work out to the positive. When those factors come into play, marriage counseling is not only a good idea, it is often the catalyst that helps to keep the marriage together.
There are also additional factors that need to be considered, including the timing of when the marriage counseling takes place. The unfortunate reality for many marriages is the fact that they have been dealing with so many years of disunity that it is almost impossible to bring them back together again. Rather than growing together over the course of time, they have grown apart. It can be difficult to bring these types of marriages together but if both parties are willing to work on it and to seek a positive solution, marriage counseling certainly can work.
Unfortunately, there are many instances in which marriage counseling could actually be referred to as divorce counseling. Rather than seeking the opportunity to get together with a counselor and hash things out when problem first start occurring, it takes place after one or both of the partners are basically ready to dissolve the marriage and move on with their lives. In the face of this type of difficulty, marriage counselors are certainly dealing with a deck that is not stacked in their favor. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t going to work, but it does take more work when it gets to that point.
You Need To Continue To Work On Your Marriage
It is important to keep in mind that seeking counseling to help with your marriage is not something that is going to end when the session ends. Sitting in front of a marriage counselor gives both individuals within the marriage the opportunity to talk openly in front of a third party that is basically acting as a mediator. The real test comes when the session is over and those individuals need to put into practice what they have learned during those sessions. If they are willing to do so, it is much more likely for them to see success.
One more important factor to consider is the specific counselor that is chosen. When you are trying to save your marriage, it’s important to seek professional advice, rather than seeking the advice of a close friend. You can get recommendations in your local area from a doctor or perhaps from a friend who has gone through some form of counseling as well. Try to choose somebody that has experience in helping couples with this type of therapy and is licensed as a marriage and family therapist.
Although you can expect some bumps along the way, marriage counseling is certainly an option to consider. With the right attitude and some work on your part, you may just find that it is the option that not only keeps you together, it helps you to grow a marriage that is stronger than you ever hoped was possible.